Because of a few conversations with my daughter and my own mom lately, I’ve taken a step back and looked at how I chose to raise my kids. I think Brittany (15) summed it up pretty good when she said, “you treated us like human beings.”
To me, respect is number one in life. If I respect you, you know it. If I disagree with you or your methods, you know it; chances are we’ve agreed to disagree. Although I appreciate the input of others, I always stand my ground.
Age does not earn respect; actions do. When my kids were toddlers I taught them that it was NOT OK to throw fits in stores. In fact, I taught them that it was not OK to throw fits at all. If they needed something, they had to ask… nicely. They learned to negotiate at very early ages 
At 18 months Brittany negotiated pull-ups over diapers by throwing a pack of diapers away and telling me she was not going to wear them any more. That was a fun experience 
We obviously negotiated. She agreed to wear a diaper to the store to buy big girl panties and pull-ups.
As a mom, I’ve always tried to keep my sarcasm and temper in check. I’ve tried to lead by example instead of “do as I say, not as I do” like so many other parents do. I don’t want my children yelling or screaming at me or each other, so I’ve never yelled or screamed at them. I consider it very disrespectful to fight and yell when there is almost always a better way to handle things.
As toddlers and young children, when they did something they shouldn’t have, I didn’t stop and yell at them. I said their name and motioned them to me. Then I squatted to their level and explained that what they did was not OK and why it wasn’t OK. If I threatened a spanking, I did it as a whisper, not loudly so everyone around could hear. That is something I see as a personal disciplinary decision, not a public beating
I’m not one person in public then another person in the privacy of my own home. If I can’t be myself everywhere, I’d forget which personality needed to emerge, when Respect is the basis of every relationship. If you expect respect, you have to give it first.
