Parents like this get on my nerves!

Warning – My Opinion… ‘Nuff said

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard things like “I’d like to go (whatever) but my kids won’t let me.” Why do some parents come to that conclusion? Do they lose all free will once they have a child? Do they honestly think that child is big enough to make the decision for them?

Here’s one of my favorite phrases when talking about my sisters and how they’ve chosen to live their lives… I just don’t get it. I just don’t get parents that let their kids run wild either.

Check out this story on CNN about a 5-year-old taking a traffic class.

First of all, I’m all for education. If the little fart was interested in taking a course, talk to a judge. Explain that your child is inquisitive and you’d like him/her to attend a traffic class. But… to stand in a courtroom full of people and say “my 5 year old doesn’t want to wear his seat belt, could you explain the importance to him, he won’t listen to me.”

Here’s how the preceding scenario would have worked at my house:
We’re getting ready to go out, shoes are on, we’re sitting in the driveway, car is starting up.
Me: “Everyone buckled?”
Kid1: “yes”
Kid2: “no”
Me: “Buckle up or get out.”
The End.

It’s the same as the whole “begging for things at the store” or “screaming in public to get your way” stories. I got tired of “mom, can I have this?” “mom, can I have this?” “mom, can I have this?” “mom, can I have this?” “mom, can I have this?” “mom, can I have this?” “mom, can I have this?” “mom, can I have this?” “mom, can I have this?” “mom, can I have this?” “mom, can I have this?” “mom, can I have this?” “mom, can I have this?” “mom, can I have this?” “mom, can I have this?” “mom, can I have this?” “mom, can I have this?” every time we went out and calmly explained “if you ask one more time you’ll stay home next time I go shopping.”

I had to make good on that threat twice. Once per child. They ask for things every once in a while now but since they were 4 or so, I haven’t had to leave them at home when they wanted to go. I didn’t yell at them, I didn’t get all snotty about it. I simply told them what would happen if they asked again. Like kids do, both of them had to test the waters one time to see if I meant what I said. I did. They stopped. The End.

Parents need to stop worrying about their kids seeing them as the “bad guy” and CALMLY TALK to them about stuff. Kids aren’t inherently idiots. If they’re talked to from birth, they understand the English language pretty quickly. By the time they understand the word “no” they’re testing your patience and your parenting skills need to evolve to match it. If they’re talked to during toddler years, they understand not to touch the stove or grab mommy’s hot coffee. Especially if mommy takes their hand and gets it JUST close enough to feel the heat of the object they’re being warned about. If they’re talked to during their early childhood they really do listen and learn almost everything you tell them. Then they have to learn to put that knowledge into motion on their own.

I started talking and teaching the day my 15 year old daughter was born. She’s now one of the most respectful teens I’ve ever seen in my life. During a conversation with mom about parenting, we were talking about disrespectful teens and I told her about one of my friends asking how I raised such respectful kids. Mom asked, “so what did you tell her?” Brittany spoke up and said, “She treats us with respect, like we’re real people, not something to control or yell at.” All I could do was smile

You don’t have to be a hard-ass to be a good parent. Just explain cause and effect. Lead by example and teach with respect. Let them ask questions and never tell them a question was stupid. Just because you know the answer doesn’t mean they do. You’re the older one, remember? Encourage them to talk to you about anything that’s on their mind and never make them think you don’t want to talk to them about ANY topic. We’ve had some pretty crazy topics come up over the years because the kids have played online games for years. Some of the typed conversations in online games are amazingly stupid and/or adult in nature.

Here’s a good example:
Jeff was 8 years old and playing World of Warcraft. He’d met a few new people around his age, I think he said the oldest was 11 and had named his character Yourmomsawhore. They were all “lol’ing” and being goofy kids, right? So I asked if he knew what a whore was. He said no so I explained it. He said, “then why would this guy name his character that?!” I said something along the lines of the kid having no respect for his mother or other women for that matter. Jeff left their company – on his own accord – and never talked with them again. If I’d just noticed what they were talking about and said, “Ok young man that’s it, off the computer, no more game time for you! That’s just RUDE!” Do you think he’d have learned from it and made his own decision to leave their company? No, he’d have looked for them the next time he logged into the game – and probably just to spite me.

I don’t know what my kids would do if I yelled at one of them. They’d probably crawl under a rock somewhere or something lol.

Ok, that’s good for my “it was raining all night now it’s too cold for me to be outside” rant, right?