Being a decent human being isn’t a difficult task!

I’m the oldest of 5 kids. My mom had 2 biological children, 2 adopted children and 1 step-child. She loves each and every one of us to pieces. But something’s quickly happening to change that.

Here’s a little history:

My sisters were adopted when they were very young. Kayla was about 5 and Sara was 2 or 3 years old. Their biological mother was abusive. I’ll give you a mild example: Kayla was 18 months old and running around in a diaper like a lot of 18 month old children do. She asked for milk, her “mother” (and I use the word lightly) poured her milk in a sippy cup… without the lid; and told her not to spill it. Threatened a spanking if she did spill it. You would shudder in your chair if you knew the extent of this woman’s “spankings.” Of course the 18 month old toddler did spill her half-a-cup of milk. That woman got a “switch” (if you aren’t familiar with that word, it’s a limb from a tree) and left bloody marks on that child from her ankle to the corner of her eye. Her little back was striped up like a zebra.

Yes. That was a mild example of her “parenting” skills. And it still took almost 4 more years for the adoption to go through. Four years and a set of twins later, my mom had adopted the girls and my grandma had the twin boys. Those boys are awesome! Both graduated high school and are pursuing their dreams. One is in college to be a nurse and the other is in college learning about diesel engines.

My mom raised the girls just like she did my brother and me. She taught them how to be loving, caring people. Both girls resented being adopted and sometimes Sara would say things to mom with the primary intention of hurting her feelings. Kayla has learning disabilities, she just wanted to know her biological parents and ask them why they were mean to her when she was little. She now has a husband and two little boys of her own. I don’t hear from her much but the last time we spoke, she was having problems in her relationship with her husband.

Sara on the other hand was at our grandma’s at Christmas. Her son Robbie just turned 2 in November. He’s the one I posted the picture of. His baby sister is Faith. He had bruised welts up and down his back. I don’t know the whole story but now I’m being told Sara did it. The babies’ father was abusive to Sara and she always said no one better ever do anything mean to her babies. So what’s happened?

How can women raised by the same mother end up so different? Is it because she inherited her biological mother’s “parenting skills” or her biological father’s temper? For someone who didn’t spend time with their biological parents going up, she really acts like them!

I honestly can’t tell you the last time I spanked my children. I think I may have used a belt one time when my son was 5-6 years old but I’ve never used a switch; most of the spankings I’ve ever given were with my hand and just a few quick swats on the bottom. I’ve found myself talking pretty rough with them sometimes but I never yell. I find it disrespectful, no matter the age or relationship of the person on the receiving end.

I don’t think it’s that difficult being a decent human being. I live by the “golden rule” I guess is what most people call it. I treat other people the way I want to be treated. Age, color, gender, religion, orientation… none of that matters. People are people in my eyes. If you want respect, you have to first be willing to give it.